I have needed to talk about this for a long time, but I kept pushing it aside because writing about it seemed draining. Though, right now, I think I can handle it. Being a minority in both the large Pet Play community, which is a minority in the BDSM community, and just the whole BDSM community on whole, is extremely difficult. It is highly frustrating, saddening, and silencing. I do not feel as if I have a voice. Being all that I am (which I will talk about in another post), makes me a minority, that is highly marginalized by both communities (Pet Play and BDSM) on a whole. Navigating the gap of representation is difficult. There are so few posts or talk about equal representation that as a minority, I fall through the cracks to be forgotten.
There are many things on tumblr that I enjoy in the communities, but the posts are often frustrating at the lack of inclusion. ‘She’ being so often thrown in with Submissive or Pet, without regard to the minority. It makes me feel invisible, frustrated, and saddened. It makes it difficult to feel included, and just as difficult to share. I know I could add in more pronouns to people’s posts when I reblog, but I shouldn’t have to. The world already often rejects us, and without the community realizing, you are rejecting me, by simply refusing to include me. The reasoning I often see for refusal of inclusion is that it is much simpler to just default to female for submissives and male for dominants.